Mr. Perfect and the Proverbial Checklist

A number of people have been asking me about my “List” and my view on relationships lately. And though I initially felt no need to actually discuss this matter, I now think that this must be an issue among the people I know, both believers and non-believers, hence this blog post.  To make things quick and easy, here are some commonly asked questions and my answers to them. I hope that they encourage you to stand firm in your convictions, keep your standards, and most of all, to wait on the Lord.

Do you have a “List”?

Strictly speaking, I don’t have one. But when people ask me this question, I usually just say yes to shorten the conversation on the matter, especially when I am talking to an unbeliever. And it is in a sense also true: There is indeed a list of things that I will not compromise about, and at the top of that list is “Man who loves the Lord more than anything, even more than he will ever love me”. The rest, no one else needs to know. Those are between me and the Lord.

So, when I say yes, I mean there are certain things that I have been asking God for in a future spouse, but they are not the list of characteristics that people understand them to be. Instead of characteristics in bullet points, I have prayers. And I did not present them to the Lord and tell him, “Lord, these are the qualities that I like. You know what to do.” They all ended with, “Let your will be done” because I know that the Lord still knows what’s best for me.

You’ll never be completely sure about anything, so why are you acting as if you and blah-blah will never be together?

First and foremost, if blah-blah is an unbeliever, then I have no business imagining that there is even a one-percent probability that we are going to end up together (2 Corinthians 6:14). If blah-blah later becomes a believer, I still have no business imagining that he is the one God prepared for me. The Bible tells us to treat young men as brothers, older men as fathers, with absolute purity. There are no gray areas there.

Do you ever pray for a specific person to be your future husband?

Never. Whenever I’m tempted to do so, I remember a conversation I had with one of my leaders a few years ago. She told me that whenever she prays, she presents an empty slate to God, so he could give her whoever God wanted. God formed the universe; he knows everything more than anyone. I’d rather have him decide for me than me decide for myself.

If Piolo proposed to you, would you say yes?

If he is God’s will for me, why not? hahaha. This is a very interesting question because 1) Piolo is really handsome hehehe and 2) It reveals so much about a woman’s standards. Would someone like Piolo undo the convictions that you have held on to for such a long time (mostly because no one as handsome as Piolo has yet arrived in your life hahaha)?

I had once prayed that for me to finally be convinced that a man is God’s will for me, God will have to shake heaven and earth and tell me–in ways that only he can–to stop saying no to everyone. hahaha. I’m laughing again, but it’s just because I find these questions and the answers to them amusing. If God doesn’t give the go signal, even if the man I’m in danger of losing is Piolo (hehehe), I will say no.

Would you agree to date?

It depends on the person who asks and the motive behind the invitation. I personally view dating as a step towards an engagement. If there is no marriage in the near future for the man who asks, then he should consider asking someone else. I don’t believe in dating for the sake of dating or dating as some sort of relationship status. For me, it’s either single, engaged, or married.

Also, I will never date an unbeliever. The idea of marriage usually scares them out of their wits anyway, so it’s not really very hard to convince them that no means no. But there are a few persistent people who can’t be dismissed so easily. What I usually do is pray for them and ask that they have an encounter with the Lord so that someday they will understand why I’m being so “stiff”.

Those are all the questions I can remember for now. I hope this post has enlightened and encouraged you! 🙂